Tag: grand rapids michigan estate planning lawyer

Truly Creating a Legacy – Story Based Planning

August 18, 2010 /

In this final installment on story based planning, my colleague and mentor – Scott Farnsworth – delves into the reasoning behind why story leading questions are powerful . . . and the key to a story and values based plan.  To me, these are the plans that truly create a legacy rather than just a set of documents.  To have the proper context you will want to read the previous 4 posts here: 1, 2, 3, 4.  I believe everyone needs this type of plan.  If you find yourself longing for a legacy rather than a set of documents, give us a call to schedule your Peace of Mind Planning Session.

Nancy Kline, the author of Time to Think and More Time to Think, has taught me a number of significant truths.  One is that “the human mind thinks best in the presence of a question.”

As I turned that idea over in my brain a hundred million times, I began to see that questions matter, and they matter deeply in every field of human thinking.  The nature and quality of the questions we ask determine the nature and quality of the thinking we spark and of the answers we receive.

I learned in law school that certain types of questions lead to particular kinds of answers.  For example, “open-ended questions” elicit a different kind of answers than “yes/no questions,” and these are different from “leading questions,” which guide a witness to testify a certain way.  The type of questions we ask or the way we phrase or frame our questions influences the answers we receive.

This principle is readily seen in the field of education.   As a Portuguese instructor, a college professor of business law, and now as a facilitator of professional training, I have observed that students receive, process, store, retrieve, and apply information differently according to the types of questions they are asked and, indeed, by the types of questions they anticipate they will be asked.  The learning processes and the thinking processes for one type of question are different from the learning processes and the thinking processes for all other kinds of questions.

For example, a course in which students believe they will be graded with a true-false, multiple choice, matching, or short-answer exam will produce a different kind of thinking and learning than a course in which the anticipated exam is essay, open-ended, problem-solving, or issue-spotting.  Similarly, an oral exam results in a very different educational experience than a written one.

The type and style of questions also determines the nature, quality, and quantity of information available to the teacher to assess the students’ comprehension of the subject matter and their ability to apply the material elsewhere.  Some kinds of questions deliver rich and abundant information about the student and the learning process, while others yield scant and sketchy insights.  If teachers want to understand how well their students are thinking and what they are learning, they should pay careful attention to the nature of the questions they ask.

“Successful” students — i.e. those who score well on exams — learn how to anticipate the nature of the questions they will be asked and apply the learning and testing strategies that work best for those kinds of questions.  On the other hand, “successful” students — i.e., those who learn to think clearly about the material and then put it to use in the “real world” — think beyond exam questions and anticipate the issues the “real world” will present them.

What’s true in the field of education is also true in our work with clients:  the type and style of questions we use matters deeply. Our questions determine which issues our clients think about, and then drive the way they think about, those issues.

If our questions are analytical and numbers-oriented, our clients will think analytically and will focus on the numbers.  And if our questions are more intuitive and visionary, our clients will be more reflective and more thoughtful about the future they are creating for themselves and those affected by their planning.

The best planners are comfortable working in both sides of the brain, and are skilful in getting their clients to do the same.

In her magnificent book, I Will Not Die an Unlived Life,” Dawna Markova writes:

The brain has both analytic and intuitive ways of processing information.  They are meant to work hand in hand, but usually end up in an arm wrestle.  If we analyze only as we have been taught to do in most schools, snapping at the first answer that comes along, then judging it good or bad, right or wrong, the shy intuitive mind, not unlike a prairie dog, runs for cover.  Analysis, when improperly done, causes paralysis.  It creates a world “out there,” of which we are only spectators and in which we do not live.  It is commonly called objectivity.

If, on the other hand, the analytic mind asks open questions of discernment — “I wonder how this would work. . . . What would it look like if this were really possible? . . .” the intuitive mind begins to explore many possibilities, weaving its way through the trees until it has a sense of the whole forest and its meaning in nature’s scheme of things.  Pop!

This wandering and wondering are not useful when one is dealing with issues such as the computation of income taxes.  But the exploration of purpose and passion requires us to uncover patterns and understand the relatedness between things, and then synthesize them into a new whole.  This is the terrain of intuitive processing.  Personal truth can not be found in either analytic thinking or intuitive thinking alone.  It can only be uncovered in an open inquiry between them.

Because most of us work in a presumptively analytical world, it is not always easy to inspire ourselves or our clients to operate concurrently in the intuitive world.  It sometimes feels awkward or invasive.  And yet, if we fail to go there, we are stuck in the shallow waters of “the computation of income taxes” and similar tasks, ending often in “analysis paralysis.”

So what is the secret to moving comfortably and confidently into the deep waters of real thinking about the issues that should underpin and overlay great planning?  From my three decades in the planning professions, my answer is to ask what I call “story-leading questions.”

Stories are our native language, and everyone, including our most analytical clients, has a story to tell.  Stories are a right-brain, intuitive activity that naturally invites the “wandering and wondering” and the “exploration of purpose and passion” Markova writes about.  In the hands of an artful advisor, story-leading questions and the stories they spark beckon clients (and also advisors) to “uncover patterns and understand the relatedness between things, and then synthesize them into a new whole.”

The result is a masterful, thoughtful blend of solid numbers and bottom-line analysis, together with deep, rich, and meaningful insight into the client’s purposes and passions.  The hard realities of the tax code and the stock market are woven seamlessly with the heart and soul and vision of the human beings for whom we are planning.  Literally, a new world, the future world our clients are seeking, is created.

The key to this beautiful and powerful approach to planning is the art of the story-leading question.  It unlocks the door to what I believe is the best possible planning on the planet: story-based planning.

Scott Farnsworth, J.D., CFP is an attorney and Certified Planner with more than 30 year in the estate, business, and financial planning fields. He is the CEO of SunBridge, Inc. and the founder of the SunBridge Legacy Network. He is a nationally recognized author and expert on practical, holistic, family-friendly planning. Scott was recently named one of Financial Advisor Magazine’s ‘Innovators of the Year.

Michael Lichterman is an attorney specializing in estate planning and helping families and business owners create a lasting legacy by planning for their Whole Family Wealth™.  He focuses on planning for  doctors/physicians, nurses, lawyers, dentists, professionals with minor children, family owned business succession, and the “sandwich generation” (caring for parents and children) – and does so from a Christian perspective.  He takes the “counselor” part of attorney and counselor at law very seriously, and enjoys creating life long relationships with his clients – many of which have become great friends.

Are You Getting REAL Values-Based Planning or an Impostor?

August 11, 2010 /

This is the third in a series of posts on Story Based Planning written by my colleague and mentor, Scott Farnsworth.  In this post Scott tackles TRUE values-based planning and what has become a substitute that “poses” as values-based planning . . . questionnaire based planning.  Here is what Scott has to say:

In an earlier post I wrote that “values-based planning” is founded on the notion that each client has a personal set of values that should be ascertained early in the planning process and then used to fashion a financial plan or estate plan unique to that client.  Most enlightened planners today would concur that financial and estate plans based on client values are far superior to the “one-size-fits-all” cookie-cutter plans that many of us grew up doing.

The question with regard to values-based planning is not whether we should create plans based on client values.  The answer to that one is duh-obvious: Yes.  The issue is not WHETHER we should do values-based planning, but rather HOW to do it so that it actually works.

In other words, how do we respectfully and accurately ascertain each client’s unique and deeply-held values upon which their planning will be based?  What methodology will allow us – and our clients – to look into their hearts, to see there what truly matters, and to then discern how to create a plan with them based on what we have discovered?

Unfortunately, the widely-heralded “values-based planning revolution” has been in my view a case of one step forward, two steps back.  This is largely because in nearly every instance what started out to be “values-based planning” quickly morphed into what I call “questionnaire-based planning.”  Indeed, with a few notable exceptions, virtually every so-called “values-based” approach is designed to be implemented by means of a cleverly designed, carefully worded questionnaire.

I think that is a tragic turn of events, and here’s why:

A.  Questionnaires are blunt instruments that deliver cut-and-dried, categorical answers.  As a result, they seduce planners into seeing clients as cut and dried and categorical.  But that’s not the way we humans are, especially when we drill down to a values level.  We are not pegs to be pushed into differently shaped holes, or colored bobbles to be sorted into different boxes.  We are each unique.  We are full of nuances, contradictions, uncertainties, and places where the lines are blurred.  We don’t fit into four or five neat categories, as most questionnaires require.

Some would argue that being able to offer clients a plan based on which one of several categories they fall into, as determined by their questionnaire responses, is substantially better than the old “one-size-fits-all” method of planning.  While it may be an improvement, it is not true values-based planning.  Offering clients a choice of cookie cutters is still cookie-cutter planning.

B. Questionnaires have built-in biases, which are based on the assumptions and prejudices of their creators. Regardless of whether these biases are accidental or intentional, a biased questionnaire skews the results away from the client’s true values. When you start with untrue assumptions, you always end up with incorrect conclusions.

I have seen long, beautiful, and well-worded questionnaires that were supposed to assess a client’s values and direct the planner to the type of plan the client needed.  Oddly, it seemed that nearly everyone using that questionnaire was steered toward essentially the same plan, one that favored the aims and products promoted by the questionnaire designer.  It seems to me that when everyone gets the same answer, maybe the questionnaire is asking the wrong questions.

C. Questionnaires can be “gamed” by clever clients. The process of answering questions in a questionnaire invites clients to consider not just their answers, but the impact of their answers on the planner and the planning process.  “Will this answer raise or lower the fee?”  “Will this answer make me seem more wealthy or less wealthy?”  “Will this answer cast me in a negative light?”  “Will I appear miserly, judgmental, prejudiced, immature, or short-sighted if I answer that way?”  “Will I be exposing my weaknesses, and will that allow her to take advantage of me in some way?”

Human nature being what it is, the odds are high that clients’ responses will be less than candid and unguarded.  Consequently, there is a high probability that questionnaire answers will be scrubbed, distorted, shaded, or flat-out wrong.  This makes the results of a questionnaire unreliable as a basis for serious values-based planning.

D. Questionnaires lead to dull, inattentive planners.  Questionnaire-based planning doesn’t require planners to listen deeply and attentively to clients, to ask insightful questions, or to employ judgment and wisdom to discern how to weave the client’s life-lessons into the plan.  The “correct answers” or the client’s “categories” just “magically” pop out from the responses.  Yeah, right.

True values discovery requires careful and attentive listening.  Each client and the stories they tell are alive with insight and meaning.  They are full of clues and pieces of answers.  Real people living real lives are like that.  The right answers don’t just pop out; they have to be teased out and then pieced together like a jigsaw puzzle.  But when you make a commitment to discover for yourself – and for the client – a clear and complete understanding of what’s really in their heart, their deepest purposes for planning, you discover that the results are unquestionably worth the effort.

E. Questionnaires don’t lead to values-based planning. Questionnaire-based planning is neat, clean, analytical, and easy, but it is incapable of drilling all the way down to the values-bearing strata deep inside the client.  No matter how cleverly worded, a questionnaire can never respectfully and accurately ascertain each client’s uniquely personal values.  The results are too shallow and mechanical.  The intention may be right but the methodology is wrong.   Thus, whenever planning becomes questionnaire-based, it ceases to be truly values-based.  I call it “faux values-based planning.”

Please understand that I believe there is an appropriate role for questionnaires in the financial planning and estate planning process, which is to help gather data.  I have no problem using questionnaires as fact finders.   They just don’t work to discover and discern significant client values.

So What?

“So what’s the harm,” you may ask, “in doing questionnaire-based planning?   It’s definitely a lot better than the old way we used to do it.”

The most significant harm is that when financial planners and estate planners – even smart, sincere, and well-intentioned planners – think they are doing values-based planning but are only doing faux values-based planning, they stop seeking the real thing.  They become enamored with zirconium and fail to find the acres of diamonds just over the next hill.  They take the shortcut and never realize they just missed the best part of the journey.   As a result, they rob themselves and their clients of the magnificent experience of true values-based planning.

Good is the enemy of great.

The moment earnest planners apply the label “values-based planning” to something that is not and once they start to believe they are doing “values-based planning,” even though it is really only the “faux” variety, they lose the sense of urgency to discover the real thing  and are unable to see the need to do more.  Once they get locked in, it is nearly impossible to unlock them.  As a wise person once said in another context, “the problem is not what they don’t know.  It’s what they do know that just ain’t so.”

Values on the cheap vs. paying the price

While questionnaire-based planning may appear neat, clean, analytical, and easy, it is really only values-based planning on the cheap.  The real process of values discovery – like virtually every other authentically meaningful human endeavor such as nurturing a fulfilling marriage, raising independent children, growing a beautiful garden, or building a success business – can be disorderly, messy, intuitive, and sometimes challenging.  It requires real work.  It requires that we pay the price to come to know, really know, our clients.  It cannot be achieved with clever techniques.

The Solution

To move into the beautiful new world of true values-based planning, the solution is not to try to come up with a more artful questionnaire.  The solution is to recognize that their stories — the oldest and most natural form of human communication – are rich and ripe with the unvarnished truth about our clients’ values.  We just need to ask the right questions and then listen, really listen.

I have found that the best way to genuinely understand our clients and their values is to ask them thoughtful and insightful story-leading questions in an appropriate setting and then settle back and listen to their answers with all the love and attention and encouragement we can muster.  I have learned that who they are and what they deeply value are woven into the stories they tell and can be discovered by a caring advisor.  That is the essence of what I call “Story-based Planning in a Thinking Environment.”

I’m happy to say that I use a questionnaire mostly for fact finding, not for developing a values-based plan.  I make it a point in every Peace of Mind Planning Session or Whole Family Wealth™ Planning Session to purposely set the questionnaire aside and spend a significant amount of time listen to my clients’ stories.

Scott Farnsworth, J.D., CFP is an attorney and Certified Planner with more than 30 year in the estate, business, and financial planning fields. He is the CEO of SunBridge, Inc. and the founder of the SunBridge Legacy Network. He is a nationally recognized author and expert on practical, holistic, family-friendly planning. Scott was recently named one of Financial Advisor Magazine’s ‘Innovators of the Year.

Michael Lichterman is an attorney specializing in estate planning and helping provide peace of mind to families and businesses throughout Grand Rapids and West Michigan.  He specializes in Whole Family Wealth™ planning for professionals with minor children, doctors/physicians, nurses, lawyers, and the “sandwich generation” (caring for parents and children) – and does so from a Christian perspective.  He takes the “counselor” part of attorney and counselor at law very seriously, and enjoys creating life long relationships with his clients – many of which have become great friends.

A Family Mission Statement Can Help Any Family

June 30, 2010 /

This is a guest post from Ron VanSurksum, CFP originally posted on his blog here and reproduced here with his express permission.

A Family Mission Statement Can Help Any Family Manage Assets, Philanthropy and Direction

A family doesn’t need a surname like Vanderbilt to benefit from a family mission statement.  A mission statement is a collaborative document created by one or more generations of family so standards and goals can be set for the handling of all family assets, including businesses and philanthropy in particular.

While mission statements aren’t legal documents – in fact, many are done both in written form and on videotape as a companion to legal wills and directives –  their purpose is to make a record of the family’s values, goals and aspirations and how those sentiments should drive future decisions about family wealth management, business succession plans and charitable pursuits.  Multi-national companies have mission statements. Non-profit corporations have mission statements.  A mission statement for your family, helps identify and clarify specific values and goals, facilitates group decisions, instills confidence and encourages unity.

It should also identify family leadership who will work with other relatives in implementing those goals.

While the end product should produce a document built from discussion, argument and consensus, it’s not so much about the piece of paper as the process. Many families start the process as a way to build consensus about long-term financial, business, estate and philanthropic goals, but the conversation can take twists and turns that don’t directly involve the family money. In this process, a family can identify the strengths, weaknesses and unearthed priorities of all family members and might reveal leadership few had expected.

Trained financial advisors including financial planners, tax experts and estate attorneys, can help explain the process and set an agenda for families to follow in creating the mission statement. While some extended families may elect to bring in a facilitator to guide their process, there are generally four components to a family mission statement – estate issues, philanthropy, business planning and family dynamics in general.

It also helps to start with some questions that can guide the discussion.  Many experts start with questions that first get family members talking about their relationships and how their dynamics work, and then move into business and money matters.

  • What’s most important about our family?
  • What do you think our goals should be?
  • When do you feel most connected to the rest of us?
  • How should we relate to one another?
  • What are our strengths as a family?
  • Where do you think we’ll be as individuals in 5, 10 and 15 years?
  • In order, what are the five things you value most in life?
  • How should we behave toward each other?
  • How should we take care of relatives who are or become sick or disabled?
  • How should we resolve our disputes?
  • How important is the family business to you?
  • What should we be doing differently with our family money as well as our assets inside the business?
  • What professionals or structures should we bring in to help us manage our wealth?
  • What’s the best way for us to be building our wealth?
  • What do you think the role of our family should be in helping the community?
  • What should we be doing individually and as a family with regard to philanthropy?

Structurally, the written mission statement can be whatever you agree it should be – most experts say it should be no more than a paragraph long, but that’s a guideline, not a rule. It is also very important to focus on the positive, meaning what you want to accomplish and achieve as a family, as opposed to want you want to avoid. And it needn’t be set in stone – a family should have a meeting every year or two to revise or approve its mission.  The family mission statement helps a family establish its identity and the variety of voices within, and those voices may be subject to change over time. The family mission statement is a living, breathing document that can evolve over time. In today’s fast paced world, it is easy to get caught up in the here and now, a family mission statement can help you stay true to your family’s values. As a result, families may not feel the pressure to keep up with the Joneses because their mission  statement helps achieve balance. It is also very important to focus on the positive, meaning what we want to accomplish and achieve as a family, as opposed to want we want to avoid.

The right mission statement can help reset goals and diffuse tensions later. It can also be used to moderate discussions that inevitably happen after major changes within the family – death, divorce or happily, an increase in the number of heirs and participants.

As for the age of the participants, it can start in very basic form with younger children and the process can mature as they age. It’s actually a good idea to bring young members into a customized version of the process for youngsters so they can comfortably adjust to working as adults with the older members of the family.

For additional resources on how to create a family mission statement, please consider utilizing any of these websites

http://www.nightingale.com/mission_select.aspx?from=homepage&element=missiontitle

http://www.ehow.com/how_2043790_write-family-mission-statement.html

http://www.franklincovey.com/msb/

June 2010 — This column is produced by the Financial Planning Association, the membership organization for the financial planning community, and is provided by Ronald J. VanSurksum, a local member of FPA.

Why You Should Care About Estate Planning: Professionals

June 13, 2010 /

Moving along in my Intro to Estate Planning series, we will continue to look at why planning is important for  family of different types and at different life stages.  I started by uncovering the many benefits estate planning holds for parents with children under 18.  If you are a parent with children under 18 years old and still have questions, contact me to have your questions answered.

The next group we’ll look at is more of a “type” of family rather than a stage of life: professionals.  My definition of a “professional” is broad, including doctors, lawyers, certified public accountants (CPAs), accountants, bankers, financial advisers, nurses, teachers, middle- to high-level company managers, CEOs, company Presidents, and other similar positions.  I view this group so broadly because they all share similar concerns, at varying degrees.

Some important reasons proper estate planning is critical for professionals (and their families) include:

  • Guardianship remains one of the most important reasons to estate plan if you have children under 18 years old.  Without designating who you want to raise your children in your absence, a court will decide who will care for them. If you haven’t named guardians for your children, you should run, not walk to an attorney specializing in estate planning (and focusing on guardianship decision).  If you have named guardians, you most likely made at least 1 of 6 common mistakes.  Contact me to learn more!
  • Asset Protection. As a professional with a special skill, you face a greater threat of liability.  You have worked hard to accomplish great things and are building a secure financial future for your family.  Don’t leave it exposed to future divorce, lawsuits and creditors.  And this pertains as much to you as it does to your children and grandchildren (and on down the line).  You can pass your financial wealth on to them protected from divorce, lawsuit and creditors as well.
  • Planning for your incapacity to avoid bitter conflict about your finances and your health care. You need to give people you trust the legal authority, guidance and direction on how to handle your finances and your health care.  Enhanced Powers of Attorney, EnhancedPatient Advocate Designations, and Living Trusts are key components to making sure your wishes are recognized and followed.
  • Avoiding probate.  Without a proper plan in place, your hard earned wealth will go through a time consuming and often costly court process. Wouldn’t you rather your family be able to benefit right away and receive more of what you worked so hard to accomplish?
  • Passing on your “whole family wealth,” not just your money.  This includes your values, insights, stories and experiences – who you are and what is important to you.  In my experience this is THE most overlooked part of estate planning.  The professionals I’ve worked with have accomplished a lot and continue to reach new levels of accomplishment.  Yet in most circumstances they have not taken the time to explain their struggles, how they overcame, and what they learned – these are far more important than money to their kids, grandkids, and future generations.

These are just a few of the reasons professionals need an estate plan.  Can you think of more?  Please share your thoughts and experiences.

With my next post in the series, I will look at the “sandwich generation” – people who have concerns about their parents and their children.

Michael Lichterman is an attorney specializing in estate planning and helping provide peace of mind to families and businesses in Grand Rapids, Grandville, Cascade, Forest Hills, Ada, Byron Center, Caledonia, and the surrounding areas.  He specializes in “whole family wealth” planning for professionals with minor children, doctors, nurses, lawyers, and the “sandwich generation” (caring for parents and children) – and does so from a Christian perspective.  He takes the “counselor” part of attorney and counselor at law very seriously, and enjoys creating life long relationships with his clients – many of which have become great friends.

Make sure you pass on your “whole family wealth,” not just your money.  This includes your values, insights, stories and experiences – who you are and what is important to you.  In my experience this is THE most overlooked part of estate planning.  It happens to be one of the most fulfilling privileges I have when working with families.

Online Wills and Trusts Company Gets Slapped With Class Action Lawsuit

June 7, 2010 /

Pardon the interruption of our regularly scheduled “introduction to estate planning” programming for this breaking news.  I figured it was bound to happen sooner or later and now we know . . . sooner.  According to this article, Legal Zoom recently became the subject of a class action lawsuit.  The suit accuses Legal Zoom of “unfair and deceptive” business practices.  The suit alleges the deception is in Legal Zoom’s claim that “‘. . . virtually anyone'” can create a valid legal document through the site and that the ‘customized’ documents made by nonlawyers would be reviewed for ‘accuracy and reliability,’ [giving] customers a false sense of security.”  What happened in the specific situation that brought about the lawsuit?  They bought a revocable living trust, a will and a durable power of attorney that later had to be fixed by an attorney.  My colleague Candice Aiston wrote about it here.  And to be fair, you can read Legal Zoom’s response to Candice’s post here.  It’s always best to hear both sides of the story so you can form your own opinion.

I’m not making any comment about the validity of the lawsuit, or lack thereof.  However, if you’ve been reading my posts for any period of time you know that I believe online- and software-based will-making software leaves many people with a false sense of security.  The sad part is that most people don’t find out that the security is false until they die, and then it is too late! Their family is left cleaning up the mess.  Think about a child’s toy.  They come with specific pieces that are designed to fit together a certain way and their are directions telling you how to construct it.  Yet somehow, I still find a way to put it together wrong (causing untold frustration) or never getting it put together at all!  What about you?  Think about how unique each individual is . . . and each family.

An estate plan is not a cookie cutter situation and you should run (not walk) away from anyone (lawyers included) who tell you it is.  Each person, each family, is like a snowflake – unique in who they are and in the legacy they want to create and pass along to their family after they’re gone.  And that is just one of the reasons working with an attorney who specializes in estate planning is key to making sure you pass along your “whole family wealth,” and not just a set of documents that distributes your “stuff.”  Call me if you’re interested in learning more about sharing who you are and what’s important to you – making sure your values, insights, stories and experiences will benefit your family for generations to come.  It’s about far more than money.

Michael Lichterman is an attorney specializing in estate planning and helping provide peace of mind to families and businesses in Grand Rapids, Grandville, Cascade, Forest Hills, Ada, Byron Center, Caledonia, and the surrounding areas.  He specializes in the needs of professionals with minor children, doctors, lawyers,  CPAs, and those in the “sandwich generation” (caring for parents and children), and does so from a Christian perspective.  He takes the “counselor” part of attorney and counselor at law very seriously, and enjoys creating life long relationships with his clients – many of which have become great friends.